Couple and Sex Therapy

Couples therapy and sex therapy

also as "Couple-oriented individual work":

Couple relationship - one of the last great adventures of our time

To live successfully as a couple the big challenge of our time - and that fascinates me. Understanding this existential topic of our being human in depth and promoting it towards fulfillment is a deep concern for my soul.

Pair- and Sex therapy works according to completely different mechanisms than individual therapy - I have had to and have been able to experience this firsthand in many years of various therapy training courses.

And: Due to my own divorce - despite intensive couples therapy (couples synthesis according to M. Cöllen), a new marriage, many crises and intensive learning, I had to question a lot of the contents of the couples therapy methodology I had learned and learned more and more about the mechanisms that one Really hold relationship together. Interestingly, it's not just love or “getting along” what holds a couple together.

Many factors are involved in the fact that a partnership lasts and gets positive dynamics, such as how intensively the individual wants a partnership, the costs and benefits, the shared deep-emotional issues and above all the complementarity of the different dynamics of the feminine and male to a wholeness - physically, psychologically and deeply.

While in the individual-oriented individual therapy we work on the individual becoming a whole and on the development of the potential inherent in the soul of a person, the integration of the impulses associated with our gender as a woman or man is necessary for a successful relationship. We have to face our fundamental woman or manhood - the duality, the dyad - and it is important to bring our individual spiritual needs into harmony with it. And both - couple relationship and soul follow different principles (see under “Philosophy”: The 7 levels of man: “Archemah structure”).

An exciting process of being human begins in its many facets, which can be exciting, profoundly challenging and fulfilling even into old age.

Only - “simply beautiful” and “uncomplicated” is a fulfilling couple relationship that is also able to maintain sexual attraction for years, certainly not ...

(This concept also applies to homosexual couples.)

The Book about the COUPLEVOLUTION are available in the practice or online at www.mein-lebenspartner.de.

Why couples therapy is so difficult and what you can do to ensure that it succeeds anyway ...

1. A sexual couple relationship brings up our most hidden soul issues and very soon

The dark side to light.

2. In our consumer-oriented society we are no longer used to being brave

to face our dark side out of love,

but expect needs satisfaction from a partnership.

3. In a long-term partnership the tendency of people is very pronounced

Pass the responsibility for the uncomfortable feelings on to the partner.

4. Because of these reasons, the dynamic between two longer-term lovers

often extremely negative. The partners want the other to change and do not want to see that they themselves perpetuate the problems through their own behavior.

This means that most couples come to couples therapy with dissatisfaction and want the problem to be resolved. Only - unfortunately they themselves cause their own problem. For this reason, no therapist can simply treat the problem “away”, but it requires great inner courage and a deep willingness to face one's own dark side. Because only when we accept and clean up our own darker sides in love do we become free to really meet our partner in love and no longer need him as a projection surface for our darker sides.

In other words, effective couples therapy has to address the painful downsides more than normal individual work - and many people are actually not ready for that. You want to solve problems, have more pleasure again, finally have your partner “different” etc .. Of course: at this point we can “do therapy around” a lot, train communication skills, “say everything to each other” etc .. Only - we can't avoid it that the necessary “to grow beyond your own ego to become you” is connected with a painful buildup of your own egoism, which you have to learn to recognize and endure

That is why I have developed a special form of couple dialogue, the “true love dialogue”, which has proven to be an effective, but gentle - quasi homeopathically effective aid to make communication between a couple an intense and healing encounter again to let.

Therefore COUPLEVOLUTION also as couple-oriented individual work

And that's why I also offer couples therapy as a couple-oriented individual work at. Because in the protected framework of individual therapy, the individual can often deal more easily with his or her parts and the mutual blame is eliminated. The orientation remains on the couple issues and we use the most diverse methods of couple and sex therapy, as well as individual psychological and systemic methods.

IMPORTANT:

Most couple problems are very existential and deeply and complexly rooted inside the two partners.

Therefore Both partners need a little "forbearance" towards the couple therapist, because due to the complexity of the couple dynamics it is unfortunately mostly not possible to work out and work on the essence of the problem. It takes the couple's patience and persistent willingness to work on the difficulties so that the aspects that remain after one session or that only become really clear afterwards can be dealt with in the next session.

Therefore A single session can give a good impulse - but mostly it does not do justice to at least one partner.

And therefore The following process has proven to be very effective:

1st session: Couple's medical history,

ie, finding out about a couple's problems and resources.

2nd - 6th session: “True love dialogue” under guidance and with subsequent processing of the discussed conflict issues.

7/8 Meeting: Individual work with both partners, in order to at least address the connection with one's own life story. Further meetings can take place if interested.

9/10 Meeting: Integration and strategy development for the future.

For me, the following subject areas also belong to couple therapy or couple-oriented individual work:

Sex therapy
unwanted childlessness
unwanted being single
Marriage preparation, marriage counseling
Addiction and aggression in a partnership
Advice to lesbian and gay couples
Divorce Management
Raising children for children of divorce
Help for blended families

In addition to the results of modern couple psychology (cf. Grau and Bierhoff, Sozialpsychologie der Partnerschaft, Berlin 2003) and systemic couple and family therapy, gestalt couples therapy, emotion-focused couples therapy, the work of Dr. Chuck Spezzano, my 10-year study with the shaman and gestalt therapist Hugo-Bert Eichmüller and of course the daily work on my own marriage.

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